Recipe for The Desert King:
Take one part crazy, artsical bartender. Add equal parts mystical desert rat, duncical fisherman, bitchical wife, and beautiful one-night-standical girl. Mix together in bouncy pickup truck until ingredients become angry and separate. In another container, put one desperatical girl, two evil poachers, one faceless henchman, a bitical black dog, and a stinky hero. Shake together until thoroughly unhappy. Combine all in a big ol’ desert with a bubblical stream, then heat to simmer. When you hear screams and gunshots, you know you have the mixture right. Continue to apply heat until screaming and shooting boil over and blood bubbles to the surface, then cool. Garnish with a cranky old rattlesnake. The Desert King: A Jack Trexlor Novel. 78,000 delicious words.
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